Mark Schrier, 32
When Mark Schrier, 32, woke up one Monday morning he could scarcely imagine the culinary nightmare in store for him. Instead, his thoughts focused on his upcoming job interview, scheduled for just after lunch.
“I had a ton of prepping to do. Researching the company, printing copies of my résumé and figuring out my greatest weakness. I simply didn’t have time for a home-cooked meal. I opened my freezer and rummaged around inside.”
After perusing his underwhelming selection of TV dinners and frozen leftovers, Mark settled on a familiar standby: A flaky pastry pocket filled with meat and cheese. He had consumed dozens, if not hundreds, of microwaveable pastry pockets over the years, but this particular pizza-flavored confection would soon turn his entire world upside-down.
“When I took it out of the microwave it was still all frozen in the middle, even though it had the sleeve or whatever that’s supposed to keep things crisp. I put it back in, but then it was too hot and I had to wait for it to cool down. All this time, the clock was ticking. I was running late, and I needed to act. Fast.”
Mark snatched the pastry, unaware of the internal pressure threatening the seams of the self-enclosed sandwich. He bit into the pulsating pocket, wincing at the unimpressive flavor and strange consistency of the meat and cheese inside. Then, everything changed.
“The back end of the pocket just split right open, dumping all of the filling on my only suit. My shirt, tie, pants, everything was ruined, drenched in bland tomato sauce and pepperoni grease. I was a mess, I was late, and worst of all I was still hungry. I didn’t even bother going to the interview. Instead, I called Hawk & Hawk.”
The experienced food professionals of Hawk & Hawk were eager to take Mark’s case. World class experts in the evolving science of Disappointing Frozen Meals syndrome, or D.F.M., Hawk & Hawk managed to secure their client a classic meal of Steak n’ Taters, courtesy of Night Hawk Frozen Foods.
“The charbroiled meat makes all the difference,” says Mark, now gainfully employed and gastronomically satiated. “It locks in all the flavors, and the sauce is out of this world too. Plus you can’t go wrong with those crunchy gold potato rounds.”
When he’s not busy chowing down on Night Hawk’s signature charbroiled selections, Mark is quick to sing the praises of the firm that changed his life forever.